Authored by Hannah Williams-Inman
We’re back with another installment of “If Only You Knew”, where I try to pick the brains of some lucky (?) kiddos around the middle and upper school, and see what kind of insight I can gather about the parts of their school experience that their teachers may not always be privy to. As with our first installment, I’m keeping in mind that, while their middle or high school experience is important and worth hearing about, these students are also teenagers! They can be moody, stressed, and can’t see outside the bounds of their own experience (developmentally speaking). High school or middle school is literally their entire life right now, which means that the way they’re feeling about school or life in general may be disproportionately strong with respect to the rest of the world around them. Such is life as a teenager! I can safely say that we’ve all been there.
*Author’s note – Can I just say that sitting down to write the “next installment” of my “regularly occurring column” is a huge power trip? Will I do a career change and become a writer? Somebody stop me! And under no circumstances should I be given a personal blog.
Let’s kick things off with a (in my opinion) very fair ask from a middle school student. This student simply wants to be let out of class on time (presumably so that they’re not late to their next appointment). Seems like we may have a case of “the bell does not dismiss you,” but, when there are no bells, we are left in a pickle when we teachers lose track of time. I have a quick conversation with my students at the beginning of the year that sounds like this: “I will forget what time it is, and may not realize the end of class is upon us. If you can say it respectfully, I would actually appreciate it if you could remind me of the time, if I’m running late.” Like everything else in the 8th grade, there are growing pains, and “don’t say it like that” conversations, but it helps make them feel comfortable enough to remind me if we’re over time. Just something to consider! Respecting their time starting now may help them to grow into adults who also respect other peoples’ time (one hopes).
Another student wanted you all to know, “Exams are useless.” Claim your truth, bestie!
Our last student voiced to me that they sometimes can feel embarrassed or defensive when teachers call them out in front of their peers. They gave me a few examples of being called out for being off task, or having lots of questions, or maybe just not understanding the task at hand, and they said that they sometimes feel insecure in those moments. Hold on, let me put on my teacher hat… *ahem* I quite literally do not have time to have a private conversation every time I need to correct a student. Between me and the readers of this blog, I told this student that they may also just be sensitive sometimes, and they agreed, but challenged me that even if they are sensitive to this style of feedback, maybe the delivery also matters. I think all of those things are true! I am super quick to call kids out and redirect, and, in my mind, it’s no big deal if I say “Johnny, stop talking,” or “Sarah, close your computer.” To me, all that situation needed was a quick and clear redirection, but Johnny and Sarah may receive those comments differently. One thing that I, as their teacher, am responsible for, though, is establishing a strong enough relationship with my students, that, when I do have to redirect them “publicly” or by name, they know that it doesn’t diminish their value in my classroom or in my eyes. I can’t control their emotional responses to my words, but I can do my best to help them contextualize those redirections as a part of our relationship, and not a reprimand/indictment on their character. Dang, these teens have some FEELINGS!
Being a teenager has always been difficult, and will always be difficult, but in the reality of our current age, I think being a teenager now might actually be harder than it’s ever been. I believe that’s worth remembering as we live life with our students, which is why I am taking the time to write this column! Their reality and ours will always coexist, and we can’t escape that fact just because sometimes we wish teenagers were less egocentric, or dramatic, or confusing. Part of being a teacher must be embracing that messiness, in their lives and in ours, and acknowledging that we have no choice but to live this life together. What lessons do we have to teach them about being a part of the real world? What lessons do they have to teach us?