All the words in this blog, minus the title and the first paragraph in italics, were authored by Buck Cooper.
I had the distinct pleasure of being in the room when Buck was asked to share some thoughts with the board about shifting from faculty to head of middle school this past year and I was so moved that I begged him (via google chat, the best way to beg) to share his words with the entire community. Buck, thank you for being your genuine, thoughtful self then and now. Our school is better because of your presence in it.
Kevin asked me to share some thoughts about the transition from being a middle school teacher to being the head of the middle school. In the spirit of the Easter season, and if you’re not into Easter, then it’s also baseball season, both of which ought to be filled with a spirit of thanksgiving—so in the spirit of both seasons, I want to tell you three things for which I am deeply thankful.
First, support and grace from colleagues and from family. I had served as Associate Head of Middle School here in 2015-2016 and was doing the work of that role for much of the year before that. For those two years, I had seen how challenging the job is, particularly because of the massive scope of the work which can range from helping a child find a sweatshirt to helping plot the course for the future of language instruction AND the complexity of the work–because let’s face it, people are complex and administration is fundamentally working with groups of people and individuals. I knew going in that this was going to be challenging work–and it has been–but Kevin and the entire senior leadership team were so kind, welcoming and supportive during the work we did last summer–and Meriwether, Shedrick, Jen, Annie, Kari, Sarah and Bethany along with the entire middle school faculty and so many of our families have made this work less difficult in its complexity because of their skill, and kindness and the grace they’ve afforded me.
Second, I’m thankful for the expanded scope of potential students with whom I can build relationships. I was a little sad to step away from teaching all the flavors of 8th grade math and being an 8th grade advisor. I knew I was losing those particular relationships. But I recognized the lightness and joy that I felt in my heart on the first day of school when I was out front welcoming students back. And while I lost the focus on the 8th grade, I gained the chance to get to connect, in passing, and sometimes through activities, with so many more children in the middle school. I absolutely love spending time with these children, and I love helping to shepherd them through this time of life when so much is happening all at once and in so many ways. And moving from being primarily an 8th grade teacher to being head of the middle school has made it possible to feel so much more connected to so many more children.
Third, I’m thankful for the loving care and wisdom that so many of our parents bring to this place. I say this having taught at both private and public schools in several states. I know that every parent wants what’s best for their child, and I know that every parent, deep in their heart, is trying to do right by their child to help them get what’s best. But that manifests in so many ways, some of them sometimes destructive to the life of a community. Our parents are smart, and caring and willing to put in the work necessary to help make this place better. I’ve had a number of difficult conversations with parents this year, and part of what I’ve secretly enjoyed about even those difficult conversations is that they’ve required me to bring my best self–both emotionally in terms of support and intellectually in terms of being attentive and thoughtful in response–to those tough interactions–and that has made this work, especially when it’s hard–feel like it fits with where I am in my career.
I’ve been connected to this school one way or another for most of the last 37 years–ranging from being here in person to getting the newsletters and emails and fundraising asks. I’m not on the Julia Chadwick or Jan Graeber level of longevity or wisdom, but I hold them both as models for how to be committed to a place that has given so much to me. A favorite character in a TV show I love said, “the job will not love you back,” and that may be true, but I do think that the place where you do the job might–and this place feels that way to me.