Written by Jessica Parker-Farris
Still on that continued mission to find joy, this year I signed up for Upper School Theatre teacher David Kelly’s Improv PLC! Here’s what I sat down and wrote after our first full meet:
It’s Thursday, October 10th, and 4:49pm. I just got home after having completed our first improv session together. I shared with the group how excited yet nervous I was, how at the very worst I may bolt out of the room! (If you read my last piece, What the World Needs, you know why!) Luckily that didn’t happen. Instead I found a small group of people who were able to be playful and vulnerable with one another, not to mention have some educator-reflective moments on our shared experience.
While there, once again, I learned I’m not alone in this human experience. We played Dramalom, The Acting Game, not unlike charades. The gist of the game is this: form teams; once established, one person is assigned the role of actor, the other observer; the actor is given three cards: one with a line to say, another with an emotion in which to express said line, and finally, one more for the intensity level of said expression. The goal is for the observer to accurately interpret the actor’s emotion and intensity (1-5 in range). This at first glance seems quite simple, but then questions begin to percolate: Wait, I’m in a room with people I’ve never met before…how do I know what their 5 is? Or their 3? Wait, how do I say this line at a high intensity with this emotion? Wouldn’t this emotion be calmer? Not to mention there is no time to practice in front of a mirror and make sure you match your own intended level and expression. Fears began to surface from folks in the group: “I’m sorry. That’s my fault. I’m not expressing it correctly,” or “I’m sorry. I’m not doing it right. Can I try again?”
There was one moment in our game where there was absolutely no doubt what emotion and intensity was being expressed because it was being channeled from the infamous scene in the classic and well-loved movie When Harry Met Sally. You know the one. Meg’s repeated line of “Yes! Yes! YES!” in the diner! And this person, my partner, performed it perfectly (talk about being vulnerable upon first meeting!) I knew the reference. We all did. This moment definitely brought some joy and chuckles into the room! Did I mention you weren’t allowed to break eye contact?! IT. WAS. INTENSE! And yet when I glanced down at my emotions card for a quick reference, I still managed to select the incorrect word!!! How could this be? I’m a middle-aged adult! I’ve used words in my daily life for, let’s see, quite some time now!!!!
This got me thinking about our daily experience of teaching: if it’s hard for me to select the appropriate word for what I’m sensing as an adult (even when I have a word bank right in front of me!), if we all have our own lifetime of biases that build our norms in different ways than that of others’, are my expectations of my students sometimes a bit unrealistic? Working at the elementary level, it’s far more likely that my students:
- Are so young they don’t even have the vocabulary to fully express themselves (intentions, feelings, needs, wants, etc.) even if they are comfortable and confident enough to actively try and do so.
- They’ve hardly had any prior experience building norms with me (if any) so there might not be any common understanding of what we’re trying to communicate to one another. For an added layer of confusion, my norms might outright contradict norms in their homeroom or household. (Thank you Chelsea Freeman for helping narrow this gap by introducing our shared language through Responsive Classroom!)
- Beyond vocabulary, our elementary kiddos rarely notice if they’re cold at carpool and need to put on a jacket, so it seems a bit doubtful they’d also be able to perfectly communicate their intentions through “correct” tone, modulation, volume, expression, timing, etc..
My Main Take-Aways:
- Grownups and children alike, it’s still our shared human condition for fear to arise, particularly when we perceive there’s a “correct” answer to a given question or challenge. Though we are not alone in our lone interpretations, I have faith we can, through practice, effort, and heart, learn to share and understand our intended meanings.
- That said, the relativity of language means it’s a blessing we can communicate at all, so when I feel frustrated or hurt by a student or co-worker (or anyone else for that matter) just maybe reflecting back on this realization will help me find a little more patience, a little more faith in folk’s intentions, and also, just maybe, in that moment, my cup of joy can continue to remain a little fuller than it otherwise would.
Sources that influenced these thoughts:
David Kelly’s Improv PD